"Real Men
Questions & Answers
Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions.
Knowing this, women will have come far in
understanding men and enriching
their own lives if they carefully review the "C" answers.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced
society visit the Earth, and you are
the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship,
they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is
capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean
energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating
oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality
of your youthful life do you miss
the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded
social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really
sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been seeing a woman for
several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy -- you're watching a football
game; she's reading the papers -- when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer
bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She
says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you
believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't
want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you can not honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon
to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third and seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided that you
truly love a woman and you want to
spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the
world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when
she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her
eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes
up feeling ill and asks you to get
your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. Do they need to eat or anything?
B. They're in school already?
C. There are three of them?
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of
veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large
that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be
handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage
regularly in case somebody – and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife --
is quietly trying to discard his underwear
9. What, in your opinion, is the most
reasonable explanation for the fact
that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before
they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got
there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
10 What is the human race's single
greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.